Please donate to those who r suffering due to the tsunami incident... PLEASE!!! thousands n thousands of lives have been taken. n many families have been broken up. loss of loved ones, friends, neighbours n colleagues. these ppl wun even have the mood to welcome the new year. so pls........... my frenz...... pls try to help as much as possible... i pray for the souls to rest in peace.

its been like..... wat? 2 weeks??? ever since i've tagged on my tagboard... for some stupid stupid n even more stupid reason, i cant tag... maybe got prob lor... argh!!! anyway, i've watched Kungfu Hustle. its SUPER lame yet funny. very different compared to shaolin soccer. hm.. shaolin soccer is more like a comedy alone. kungfu hustle is somehow trying to 'advertise' on kungfu n all martial arts thingy. i cant find a word to replace advertise. forgive me. go watch it n u'll see ur head rolling on the floor laughing. ok im exaggerating. gdnite ppl. oh ya!! 3 days to 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE 2004 CHRISTMAS!!!! i seriously do... 5 min to xmas.. not a single call or sms from him. n let mi tell u wat bloody things happened to me on xmas eve of 2004!! i was so prepared to go to sch. dad lent me $200 to get my hair done. so i can return him the 100 bucks he lent me. so i left home happily, walked down the stairs happily.. den at the 2nd floor, approaching the 1st, i missed a step n fell! the impact was on my left foot. so i guess i was ok cos it didnt really hurt. actually it did. alot. so i sat on the stair n called my mum to tell her i fell. she asked me whether i could walk. i could. painfully. i oso called him to tell him i might not be going to sch but i insisted on going to sch for the attendance. so i walked for less than a min b4 i turned back. i went home. rested awhile b4 i made my way out again. i waited for the bloody cab for 20 whole min!!! i was about to burst into tears by juz standing there n waiting for a cab to come... i wasnt late. but my foot hurt really badly cos i was standing... my parents even looked out from the window to see how i was doing. i was so damn pissed. finally i boarded a cab. limped all the way in sch. carol noticed n asked. den syahriah oso asked. thanx for ur concern guys... i was really glad. told him i was in sch n he called to ask y. juz told him i could walk. so for wcom, we had to go interview students. i was limping. interviewed him as well. our interview was on the school library. some of the questions asked... n how he answered.. me: do u go to the NP library? him: no me: why? him: no time me: y no time? him: cos of rachel (tt's me!) *giggles* me: wat is lacking in the library tt makes u not wan to go?? him: rachel (me again) *giggles some more* syahriah n carol were like "aw..." n "oh gross" at the same time. haha. interview finish. i asked him to wait for me so he can send me home. he said ok. but he went to mambo wif his classmates. n wanted me to go there after my class. but i wasnt in the right condition. so i went home on my own. den met up wif kaixin to get our hair done. my foot started swelling in the 5-hr duration of hair rebonding. i almost couldnt walk. each step hurt. n tears came out. den i struggled my way out when i was done to wait for my mum to come pick me up. den my sis sent me to the chinese sinseh. i was crying even b4 i reached the clinic. i was so freaked out. feared pain too much!! n i was so afraid the sinseh would hurt me even more. so i was crying n crying. my lil cousin saw me cry. she was stunned til lost for words. tis reminded me of the time i was hospitalised n got soooo many jabs.. cried like a baby. it was juz tis yr!!! fortunately, the sinseh was gentle enuf.. i felt better. didnt cry tt much. but i couldnt even stand properly. so my mum was my walking stick for today. den sis sent us to uncle's place for dinner. limped all the way. everyone asked abt my foot. n the elder cousins made fun of me... :'( 1 even danced in front of me!! but they meant it as a joke. dinner was fulfilling. this pic shows a forever-bubbly cousin of mine acting cute. noticed the mini hair clips on his head?? n the solo pic is my other cousin. haha both of them together always very fun.. that's me acting cute. to join in the fun. if u notice a pimple on my forehead, den tt's sooooo sad.. if not, pretend i didnt say anything! i msged him twice but he didnt reply. was really upset.. den we left at 10.30pm. mum wanted to attend church carolings. so my uncle sent me home. i had to walk down the frightening stairs on my own. took like 5 min to walk 2 stories down.. :'( now im at home wif my sis n her fren. though not alone, but i feel extremely alone. simply becos im not wif the man i love. wherever he is, i hope he is enjoying himself.. partying all nite.. that's my injured foot. now i cant even move. stuck on my chair. move abit pain alot. very pain!!! all i wan to do now is cry...

for some stupid reason, i cannot tag on my tagboard... =( n for some funny reason, my mum told me i put on weight.. n alot in fact.. she said tt.. n she was getting worried for me.. i joked i wasnt worried. now im stressed over it. ARGH!! well.. today went for cats lesson. n our dear tutor didnt teach at all! she juz let us watch a movie, Baraka. its a film on everything under the sun. things that we dunno. things tt we dun get to see everyday. or maybe things we dun even notice although they r juz taking place every sec.. its something like life on earth. a film made by a crew of 5 members only!! realli cool.. if can get the dvd, try to watch it. may be dull for some. but may be a very interesting n meaningful film. n not a single word mentioned in the movie. no speaking at all.. after cats, met up wif beibei n kaixin at lot1. den we had dinner. after dinner, we went to shop arnd for xmas presents. den i oso passed them their presents. den we went home. toking abt them, i found out eileen is attached!!! omg!! to a guy name kenneth. who the hell is he?? haha no idea. but i hope eileen is happy wif him. (leen ar.. if he dares bully u, tell me... he sure die 1...) haha i dare to stand up for my frenz.. but if im the 1 bullied, i choose to hide. wat shit man.. n kaixin oso told me she n guowei r going overseas together!!! hm... early honeymoon ya? so sweeeet... booked air tix already.. so envious... i felt so lonely the whole of today. maybe its becos i didnt meet him. i feel sooooooooo helpless n restless when im not wif him. m i depending too much on him already? m i juz being too over-in-love? i simply hate tis feeling... n i miss him real badly

i wish time can stop rite now.. where we both r at.. i cant find any words to describe how happy i m wif u... i juz wish tis would go on n on... neverending.. its u who gave me courage to love again. n now i know i love u. onli u. miss u like nuts though we meet everyday. or when i sit in the lecture theatre w/o u.. i cant even pay attention. but when u're wif me, i dun even bother to listen to the lecturer. either way oso no good. but i would love to see u attending lectures wif mi. n i know my english is terrible. =X den tutorials separate us in sch. make mi miss u even more. so near yet so far. how i wish we were in the same class. but im juz afraid seeing me everyday will be a bore. dun wish to be hurt again. neither would i wan to be hurt by u. so please dun... 22 days. n still counting... on n on... neverending.. =) I LOVE U!

i happened to see tis phrase somewhere. "The secret for creating lasting love and romance is in resolving the little problems". its so damn meaningful n rite isnt it? so dear... if u see tis, i hope we can resolve our every little problems together! TOGETHER hor... love ya.. went shopping wif him ytd. 1st stop: ps. wanted pastamania. met zhi jia n alex. the both of them super sweet. been together ever since 2000 august. soooooo long!! nana jie n her bf oso 5 yrs liao.. sooooo many frenz of mine in r/s for sooooo long... sooooo happy for them. =) i was so motivated to keep tis r/s longlasting.. n of cos a happy 1.. den he was so 'shiok' cos he was able to eat at pastamania after so long (how long? i dunno). after lunch, we shopped arnd. i had to shop for xmas presents. for beibei, eileen n kaixin. hahaha im not going to mention wat i bought. i bored him to tears the whole day. cos all i did was shop. n he had to accompany me. (sorry sweetie..) but he oso bought a jacket from adidas tt cost him 100+++ bucks!! wow! but he looks super cool in tt jacket. =) plus a billabong shirt. hehe he looks gd in anything.. =) he was soooooooooooo nice. helped me to carry my shopping bags. n didnt even wan me to help him. i felt rather bad. (next time, i help to carry some k?) shopped til 10+pm. den we took mrt home. sent mi home n went to lot1 to play billiard. wondering wats he's doing now.. miss him like crazy.. i wonder how i'll be like w/o him...... tis time, i feel much deeper n stronger feelings.. unlike the past r/s. i can nv be happy w/o seeing him everyday..

2nd week of sch n im in a mess. i wasnt prepared for any lectures or tutorials.. no notes, no textbooks. haha.. but somehow, i still enjoy going to sch.. Sunday, 12/12/04 1st time we didnt meet. cos he said he wanna go swimming wif his frenz. so i rot at home. n watched star awards. zoe is hot! though she is pregnant.. fann wong, as usual, cares so much abt being pretty in front of the camera, still sucks.. (i seriously hate her! sorry to fann fans) compared to zoe, she's nothing. n poor jacelyn tay.. she fell down the step. hope mags wun focus much on tt.. so paiseh.. n ivy lee's oso pregnant. as well as may phua.. 3 pregnant women. still looking good.. =) n chen li ping still as bubbly. li nan xing is forever so suave. he's like tom cruise, the asian ver. he's juz so capable of doing much better.. he was once offered to go hollywood but he rejected them.. wow! he's 1 of the very rare local male artiste i will support. Monday, 13/12/04 went to sch. he went for bca lecture. =) happy. but he sat on the other side of the lt. lect was boring. n i hate mondays. we see jeannie wong, my advisor, the whole day. after lect, was her workshop n tutorial. 3 hrs! though long, but we combined class wif his. so tt means we get to see each other. =) so it wasnt so bad afterall. hehe get to catch a glimpse on him i very satisfied already. hehe den he still msg when we were in the same class. n made funny faces. haha so fun. i found out during lunch syahriah is attached! n officially! wow.. finally.. poor ady had to suffer so much b4 getting her. haha i hope syahriah's got her prince charming. n u better invite me to ur wedding.. hehe. oh yeah.. i wun mention abt the 3 gifts ady gave u.. ssshh... after sch, i waited for him cos he had some student coordinator meeting. hm.. i wasnt too sure if i was being sensitive. the ger in charge was looking at him the whole time though there were other guys. -_-" but i wasnt mad. hahaha who ask him so attractive... muahaha.. well, tis sweet darling sent mi to my organ lesson arnd my area n went home. how nice can he be? forever so nice... so.. mondays=school, organ lesson, dinner, church, go home Today complete loss in poa lect. the lecturer said sooooo many things abt assets, liabilities n equity. but i catch no ball. syahriah took poa b4. n she said tis is so complicated. how the hell m i going to cope? dammit! caught a cold due to the cold weather n he didnt come to sch at all for lect n his tutorial cos he was unwell. tell u guys abt tis later in my blog. after lect, we went to sim to eat. carol woke up late. so she joined us for pba workshop n tutorial. another 3 hr!! brought laptop to sch for 2 consecutive days. so heavy!! how i wish i hav laptops like carol's or joey's.. so small n light. =) my pba tutor Abbott Ernest Leslie Sidney has a weird name. isnt abbott supposed to be some chinese monks? like reverend or something. n my tutor is american. he's so damn sarcastic! very he can be interesting at times. i saw 3 new faces in my class today. 2 were from my sec sch. n i tink the 3 of them were repeaters. nothn much to say. we were installing some programmes for pba. n syahriah told us to install tis n tt. but turned out to be the wrong sequence! haha but who cares.. juz reinstall la.. workshop ended. so i was saying he was unwell. i tried calling him from morning to arnd noon. n he didnt ans his phone. so he called mi back arnd lunch n told mi he wasnt feeling well. n was going to see the doc. he got mi so worried. i couldnt wait to see him. but when i called him after class, he was at lot 1 playing billiard. -_-" n i told him he was supposed to be sick. he told mi he was love sick.. haha n added tt i was his love doc. *blush* sweet talker. so i told him i was going to see him. syahriah, weihan n i took mrt. n we talked alot of crap. mostly abt weihan n his 'special' ger.. hahaha. den i met him at cck mrt. he boarded the train. i told him i was at the tail of the train. which in fact, i was in the middle. the poor boy had to walk so far. sorry =( den the 3 of us, including weihan, alighted at yew tee. weihan went home. we bought lunch to his place. den watched dodgeball arnd 6pm. i fell sick. slept. woke up arnd 9 to watch the last episode of my mighty in-laws. ending wasnt so fascinating. as usual, the main actress n actor got together. n lived happily ever after. left at 11pm. bought supper home for mum. blogging now. so damn tired. still having flu.. going to bed. gdnite ppl..

yes! 1st week of sch is over.. left 15 weeks i tink.. n i haven skipped any lectures.. unlike HIM.. =P friday, 10/12/04 had 1 hr lect on pba. lecturer, mr tay ah bee, took 45 min to brief us on the module. n rushed thru the last 10 min on the main lecture topic.. -_-" den HE called mi during lecture like 3 times b4 msging mi saying HE forgot i was in a lect. after lect, i met up wif beibei at my place n we went to shop for groceries. i was cooking spaghetti for her, leen n HIM. =) den we bought lots of meat (cos leen is 99.99% veggie-n-chilli-free). n we couldnt even add any spices etc. well, they said it taste gd but i wasnt too sure abt it. haha i didnt touch my kitchen stove for ages. skills were a lil rusty.. sorry ppl.. made u all be my guinea pigs.. lol.. after beibei n leen watched princess diaries 2 on my laptop, we made our way out. beibei went to leen's place while i headed to HIS place. well, its friday. so we juz cuddled up n watched tv. =) very nice feeling. saturday, 11/12/04 we slept at 2am. i woke up at 4am to watch tv. watched til 7.30am den i slept. den alarm rang at 12pm. HE played game n i watched tv again. den somehow i dozed off arnd 3+pm cos HE was still playing game. n i woke up at 5+pm. n i wanted to eat ramen so badly.. so we went to cine to eat.. hehe HE so nice n accommodating. tt syahriah knew i had a craving for ramen sooooo long ago n she still happy happy told mi she n some ppl frm my class went there to eat.. make mi so sad.. hahaha at least i ate it already. still bought ice cream from those ah pek selling on the streets of orchard. if he was my grandpa, i wouldnt even let him work. so old n weak. yet muz go work. poor thing.. went walking arnd taka. at taka square. there was children's stuff on sale. so i wanted to buy some presents for max n haz (HIS siblings) since xmas is round the corner. but i couldnt find anything suitable. n it was damn crowded. n we proceeded to the corner where calendars were sold. all sorts of pictures n photos. babies, animals, automobiles n women. haha HE happily flipped thru those calendars wif women in bikini. i was like -_-". but since HE was a guy, i didnt mind. at least HE's normal. hahaha den we went home. im praying everynite tt this r/s will work out fine. im sooooo afraid of the worst. HE's the only one who gave mi happiness. no one from the past did. im so fortunate to hav HIM.. =)

today is juz 2nd day of sch n i've overslept. rite now im blogging at his place.. he's sleeping.. poor boy.. has been unwell since dunno-when.. =( ytd, i went to sch wif him. i got so awkward tt we didnt even hold hands. i wasnt used to attention from ppl around.. so i guess i shall need a lil bit more time to get used to tis. sorry darling.. saw chai fong, effie n shuyan n some guys in the canteen. effie's got a new hairstyle.. very nice =) the guys not much changes.. alvin has got spiky hair.. nicer.. i didnt see samuel tay at all.. hm... den we proceeded to lt 38. he was wif us.. =) but lecture time he sat wif his frenz, so i sat wif the gers.. 1st lect: bca. not too sure wats it.. some excel n access thingy.. den the lecturer wore a flowery dress tt was once trendy in the 50's i guess... n she had long curly hair my mum used to hav way back in the 70's.. haha im not being mean.. juz quite interesting to see lecturers lidat nowadays.. her lecture was boring.. she taught us the basics of the basics of using microsoft excel. i was actually paying attention.. wth!! though i felt a lil stupid in there but there was nothn else i could do.. n nv slept in lectures b4.. no idea y. i dun feel a sense of sleepiness during lectures. den after tt, we were discussing on where to go.. but i've got plans already. i was going out wif him. n we left 1st.. went to causeway to watch Without A Paddle.. very funny show. go watch it, guys!! its nice.. den we ate at yoshinoya.. the poor boy fell sick.. n got worse after the movie.. dunno wat happened.. he was sneezing n coughing away. heart pain!!! so we went back to his place, n i made sure he sleep den i went for my organ lesson. nothn much to say already. went for lesson, went for dinner, den went for church class. boring ending. today, he didnt come to sch. n ppl were asking.. =( miss him so much.. couldnt wait for the lecture to end. cos i'll be meeting him after tt. so some of us went to check out on the prices for our textbooks. so damn ex.. gotta exchange wif some frenz.. cut cost.. i still got a long wishlist.. after tt, bough chicken mayo sandwich. ate half n left the other for him. i met him outside lot 1 kpool. den watched him play billiard wif his fren.. he quite pro leh.. =) after billiard, i had to buy bday present for his lil sis. so i went to kiddy palace n bought a dress for her. hope she likes it. we went to buy lunch n headed for his place. his sis saw mi n demanded for her present. hahaha i told her i'll give it to her later. but she went out.. so maybe when she comes back later, i'll give it to her.. now gotta watch tv... while wait for him to wake up.. hehe =) bye ppl...

btw, taufik is our very 1st sg idol!!!! yes!!! im so in love wif him as well.. but juz idol-ly love... =)

im so in love... haha tis time its not J. some1 who i 100% nv will expect i will end up wif.. he is...................................... *secret* will let u guys know in near future. for some of u who knows, pls keep a secret.. thanx.. hehe anyway, the past week has been a busy week for mi.. im so busy wif him n church. *phew* now can find some extra time to blog. im realli lazy to continue but at least shud tok more... otherwise u guys will wanna beat mi up.. haahaa somehow tis whole thing started when we were watching movie. den we watched another movie. n another. n it started.. haha den we met up EVERYDAY w/o fail.. though we didnt live tt near, we still met up. n no complains.. =) den we will either go out n walk arnd or chill at his place. den i met his mum n his 2 little siblings.. soooooo cute!! the 2 of them will ask mi to company them to watch mr. bean animation. n b4 something happens in the show, they will tell mi wat will be happening. haha so cute.. n while im in his room, his sister will come knocking at his door n while he tries to keep her out of the room, she will peep in n wave hi to mi. n keep calling mi jie jie. =) sooo sweet of her. each time i leave, she will grab my hand, nv wanting to let go.. n give mi a gdbye kiss on the back on my palm, den run off to play. his lil bro on the other hand doesnt talk much. onli occupied wif his toys n gadgets. hehe.. the past week has been my happiest moments in 2004. for a moment, i tot i wun fall in love again. n im realli glad tis guy changed my thoughts n brought mi happiness. once again, im in love!! n i realli, extremely, totally, completely hope we will last.. =) my mum knows abt him oso. she sort of 'caught' us together. i was supposed to be meeting her at bukit panjang plaza but she waited for mi at bukit panjang lrt instead. n being the usual gentleman, he sent mi to the lrt. n my mum saw us! she was laughing secretly. n when i asked her y, she said she's happy i hav a bf. haha so i was bombarded wif loads of qns on him.. i was realli paiseh.. cos the situation was realli awkward! now im here blogging n missing him so badly. he's a lil unwell rite now.. n gone to bed already. he told mi to slp early so i guess i shud.. gdnite ppl!! later in the evening, i will be going through a confirmation ceremony in church. n from then on, i will be known as Rachel Amberlyn Chua.. gdnite.. sweet dreams..