baby photos

Tis is mi when i was dunno-how-many-months old.. mind you.. i still hav tt mattress ok? tis is my darling beibei.. according to her, she was dunno-leh months old.. hahaha look at the saliva! eee... tis is mi when i was abt 2 yrs old.. tis is beibei when she's 3 yrs old.. cute rite? u can ignore the boy behind. he's not the main character here. hahaha kiddin!

cannot tell

i feel so confused

i cant tell him i miss him

i cant tell him i love him

i cant tell him tt i need him

i cant tell him i cant lose him

i cant tell him alot of things

too much to tell him

yet too little time...

cant he feel anything???

y cant guys be MORE sensitive???

im realli tired ~

im tired. physically n mentally. physically cos went out the whole day wif weihan n syahriah. 3 of us went to lavender cos weihan said he wanted to get his passport chopped. n guess wat? he went w/o his IC.. so he had to go back another day. den we went to bugis cos weihan arranged to mit lemuel to take tennis racket. den we headed to town. cos i wanna get my hp serviced. the clam shell is super loose. juz flip it, it closes by itself. got it done at centrepoint samsung svc centre. tt was 4pm. n i had to go back at 7pm. so we went walk walk.. since syahriah is fasting, i decided not to be so mean to her by eating in front of her, unlike weihan. i waited til i collected my hp den we went to eat. collected hp n went to suki ramen @ cine to eat. syahriah was wif us. though not halal, but she ate chicken. she said its ok. went to heeren after dinner den we took mrt home. 3 of us slept in the train. so paiseh!!! took photos oso.. hehe.. tt's us... reached home abt 10.40pm. rite now, im feeling realli confused. i was tinking whether it was a mistake to tok abt J in my prev posts. cos im currently feeling like shit. i hav no idea how to tell u guys wat made mi hav tt kind of feeling. n im mentally tired becos of tis. i simply hate tis feeling. but there's juz nothn i can do abt.. anyway guys, im totally fine. dun hav to worry abt mi k.. its part n parcel of life.. n no one's life is fair. i juz hav to overcome these obstacles.. gdnite ppl...

i didnt sneak out tis time ~

bad things happen all the time.. but they r solved quickly.. im glad..

J came over at 2+am tis morning... i didnt sneak out tis time.. cos no one was home.. den we went for a drive round.. he drove to zoo.. erm.. like wat for rite? haha juz went to see see look look. syahriah said got monkeys swinging arnd but it was 3am! hello!! haha n i was hoping to see white tigers walking about.. for a moment i tot our zoo was open... how i wish the zoo is 24 hrs.. n the animals work on shifts.. hahaha.. den ppl like mi nothn to do can go see animals... still rmb last time sec sch, my cls has all kinds of animals.. panda, hippo, pigs... watever oso hav.. so funny... still got camel!! tt was my principal. hoho.. im mean..

den after zoo, we juz drove around n ended up at upper seletar reservoir.. got a few cars parked there.. n i saw some ppl inside oso.. hohoho wat were they doing? the usual stuff la... mi n J juz remained in the car n was toking rubbish.. haha damn crappy.. n we were spying on other cars..

we were getting bored so we drove out. haha if u r free 1 day, go there n spy on the cars there.. kinda fun...

den while J was figuring how to get back home, he came across a nasi lemak stall so he stopped by the roadside n went down to buy. i dunno its for his supper b4 he sleeps or his breakfast after he wakes up... haha. we were driving arnd.. trying to get home. n he was looking at the street directory. n wat was i doing? helping him? no leh.. i was sleeping... slept like a pig.. realli tired... den he woke mi up when he reached my place... n i was still half-conscious when i got down.. haha.. it was around 7am.. wow.. hahaha i went home n no one was in sight!! my sis went to play mahjong at arnd 11+pm. n she's not home.

i went straight to bed. woke up at 2.40pm. watched super sunday.. den now blogging.. i guess J is either still slping or he's too bz to msg mi.. hahah hohoho.. c ya...

holidays r boring!!

sucky life ~

each time i enjoy myself, be it juz 1 day, i will experience unhappiness the next few days... its as if i cant enjoy myself.. unhappiness awaits mi... i hate tis kind of life...

awhile happy, awhile unhappy.. y cant i be happy forever? life is realli unfair.. but y is mine sooo super unfair? i cant blame any1... cos i dunno who to blame... wth.. now raining some more.. how i wish i could fall sick.. at least i get abit of attention...

sneaked out again ~

i sneaked out again.. hehe J called mi at 11+pm last nite n told mi he got the car. so he came over.. met arnd 12am. it was raining real heavily.. oh he actually didnt drive at constant speed.. was accelerating n going faster... haha.. so we went to KAP again.. hahaha tis time he ordered oreo mcflurry for him n fries for mi. haha as usual, i had to feed him. wat a pig! hm.. somehow i missed him n was realli happy to see him.. y is tt so?

he sent mi home at 2am. n i went online til 3+am. my mum went to msia for some church thingy. so im alone at home now. boring! but its better to hav the weekend w/o nags n screams.. a lil peace.. hahaha im evil.. but she'll be back tmr evening. urgh!

holidays r boring!!

post-exam depression ~

exams r over but im bored staying home whole day! i gotta go out! now suffering 'depression'.. sleep whole day, wake up for dinner, online den go back to slp. juz like the life of a pig. hahaha im so bored... bored. bored. BORED!!!! juz like syahriah... i cant rmb wat happened the past few days so i aint going to write abt it... so c ya...

exam sick ~

im sick.

tt means exams r near.

usually i fall sick during exam periods...

feeling realli terrible...

cant stop sneezing...

sometimes its a good thing to fall sick..

cos u get the attention...

but when its exam time, its a

HASSLE!!!!

i sneaked out! ~

i sneaked out of house at 2.30am tis morning!! J came n brought mi to kap to get somethn to eat.. den we were rotting in the car, spending some time.. b4 meeting him, i was playing solitaire showdown wif eileen n we played like 20 games or more.. got so addicted to the game n was pulling my hair out juz to get a stupid card... watever.. back to sneaking out... den J called like so last min n told mi to go down n i had to shut down my com, close my room door (so mum will tink im sleeping inside) n to open my house door in total silence.. n it took mi quite a while.. urgh! for a moment, i tot he wasnt coming so i didnt prepare.. saw him by the roadside n i went "wah... so shuai" when i got in. he was dressed in black long sleeves shirt n long pants.. super suave.. he came frm work.. tt's y.. sooooo cool!! ok enuf of him... reached home b4 5 am n went to bed after awhile. wasnt emotionally stable when i reached home. alot of things hav been going on in my mind.. exams. mum. commitment. the next step. damn.. so troubled.. n i had a nitemare tt i was critically injured in an explosion tt happened at home. MY home! haha explosion.. i tink i died in my nitemare.. woke up at 12.15pm til now. full 8 hours.. studied like for a few pathetic minutes, on n off. tv on the whole time. n online the whole evening. J told mi tt he would meet mi today after his work. but i doubt he can make it.. last week oso lidat. i tink i juz hav to get used to it.. he didnt promise mi.. so it wasnt so bad. juz tt when u r anticipating somethn, den it didnt turn out the way u wan, den u will get soooo disappointed... tt's how im feeling... c ya ppl.. time to get back to my revision!

feeling terrible ~

last nite he told mi to hang on... he told mi i was strong... but in fact im not.. i fall easily n cant get up on my own.. i nid support. i cant control my feelings.. n i hate it!! cry to slp at nite.. nitemares. bad temper in the morning.. realli lazy to study. haven touched my notes today.. miss him so much.. but he's not my bf.... yet the feelings r strong.. y?????

stupid ~

i kept tinking that 2+2=3 leh! damnit!! i tink my pri 1 maths teacher will be soooo mad wif mi... all becos of tt stupid jason!! made a fool out of mi... tis morning woke up like 2+pm.. n i missed organ class. mr goh was calling n calling but i didnt pick up the phone. so i juz missed lesson. watever.. i studied abit n watched abit of tv.. den cooked a cup of tom yam noodles.. den was on the line wif jason.. after i hung up, i dozed off on the sofa.. n damn! i slept for 2 hrs... woke up at 6.30 to watch news den mum came back wif dinner. ate mixed rice.. well, School Belle n Beau showed zhong qiang & clay.. they both look soooo cute.. saw them filming in sch last time.. both of them look so different on tv... actually i've noticed clay b4 zhong qiang.. during the BIT interaction day thingy.. saw clay already.. hohoho he's got a cool n icy look. he looks realli cute when he smiles.. my mum n sis were crazy over the 2 guys. say tis 1 cute, tt 1 handsome. hahaha worse than mi... the 2 gers.. i didnt tink they were good looking, except for faith.. short hair n cute.. den watched Charmed.. hot sisters! power of three... woohoo! i was hungry at 10+ so i ate my sis' leftovers noodles. den my dad came home wif BBQ sting ray.. n i ate it oso. my appetite has grown tremendously.. so has my tummy.. arH!!!!!!! not good!! time to do some exercises... anyway, the results of the belle n beau. Clay & Faith won.. well, ok... im not even affected by the results.. that means im totally not interested in them.. ahahaha c ya ppl... study hard!!! den we can play hard after exams!!

dodgeball ~

kena woken up by beibei at 11++am.. asking mi whether wan go watch movie. watch dodgeball. haha i didnt know wat it was abt. so i juz agreed so i pulled myself out of bed n got ready. met up wif her at cck mrt at 1pm when i said 1245pm. -_-" den we headed to causeway point. talked to her abt other ppl. aka gossiping loh.. actually is concern for my frenz ma.. hehe den we bought tix for 2pm show n went to eat yoshinoya. den we sneaked our drinks in.. by putting them in my bag! -_-" n my bag got realli wet cos the cup was cold.. the show was funny n a lil gross... ben stiller as White Goodman, is some vain pot who opens a gym den he has tis pump where its located at his groin area n when he wans to impress gers wif his 'size', he pumps in some air to make 'it' big... n tt's stupid gross!! anyway, tt show is quite funny. if u hav enuf money to spare for the weekend, den go catch it.. after tt, beibei n i went shop shop arnd.. wanted to buy some stuff but in the end went back empty handed. soon, we landed at eileen's place. hahaha bought some waffles n slurpee to her place.. den still ate dinner at her place. her mum soooo nice, cook dinner for us... den the 2 little kids there make SOOO much noise! n again i was 'sexually' harassed by ah boy.. who is onli 7 yrs old.. he juz stuck onto mi n made so much noise to get my attention... last time go leen's place, he even told mi he loved mi.. wth!!! yucks! i go leen's place to see her, not him. hahaha.. den mei mei was crying n crying over dunno wat.. den i go sayang her... aw......... still help her wipe her tears n mucus... eeew... wif tissue of cos! den watched tv til 8.30pm den mi n beibei went home. beibei so worried i walk home at nite alone. haha i'll be fine lor.. dun worry beibei... 2+2=3.. tis has been on my mind the whole day.. n i kept laughing to myself! stupid man!

the truth ~

b4 i start, i know the below content will make some ppl tink im flirt or watever.. but becos its my blog, i cant help to tell ppl how happy i m now... so im gonna write watever i like for my frenz to read.. =) sorry to ppl who dislike mi. no offence... yes! im gonna tell the truth.. i wanna tell my mum about mi having a major crush on J... talked to her abt bfs n stuff juz now n she said somethn tt made mi soooo happy.. well, she said she wouldnt mind mi having a bf as long as i pick the right 1.. haha she made it sound like im those bachelorette or somethn.. muz go thru 1st round, semifinals n finals. -_-" but i guess now she worries more 4 my sis.. n my mum told mi b4.. if i wanna get married, go ahead. dun hav to wait for my sis. hahaha so weird of her to say tt... its as if i will get married n my sis wun.. weird... crazy mum.. both her daughters will marry 1 day but not now, of cos... im getting soooo excited over J. i know i juz broke up wif whoever like quite some time back.. but my mum oso told mi to grab the opportunity when it comes.. im not saying tt i hav to listen to her soo much. but sometimes tis kind of thing comes, den i oso hav no way to stop it.. its like wat ppl ask mi to do after break ups; move on. yes, move on. so syahriah, if u're reading tis, we hav to move on. i have.. have u? right.. back to J.. 1st time i felt so comfortable wif a guy whom i liked... he gives a very close feeling to mi. u know wat im toking abt? i cant describe tt feeling la... anyway, met up wif him last nite. hm... for a moment i tot i sat in someone else's car.. hahaha i even asked if he was J. wth! last nite was realli a very embarrassing moment. was kena tricked by tt PIG! he pointed a '1' wif his finger n asked mi wat it was. so i said 1, den he pointed '2'. i said 2 n when he pointed '3', he asked 2+2= wat? n guess wat i said? i said 2+2=3 la!!! hahahahaha how stupid could i be? i was caught in tt 'joke' for sooo many times by other frenz oso. n i still didnt know he was tricking mi. -_-" my brains were not even functioning correctly tt last nite. to tink he even tricked mi wif tt! im gonna get it for tis! yup, so we chilled in the car, ate ice cream, tok some crap n he sent mi home.. nice guy.. =) soo...... wish mi luck la... hahaha... J, i know u r reading tis.. wan u to know somethn......................................... U R So Lame!!! 1 last thing. ppl who r in love, dun be afraid to express ur feelings for ur loved ones.. =) n wish u guys who r attached the best of luck...!!

again n again... ~

for heaven's sake.. when will i ever learn my mistake??

fall for u, u n u... sooo many times...

cannot stop myself frm missing u...

yet cant see u when i nid u...

i know u're bz.. tt's y i nv complain in front of u...

i know u will be reading tis... im juz venting my anger in here!

im fine already. bye ppl

i hate weekends ~

i've been home since dunno how many weekends ago... most of my weekends im home... onli go out for a while.. n i hate it!!! wat happened to my wild life? damnit!! now im known as a homely kid who stays home n eat mummy's food all the time... not tt i dun like eating my mum's food.. i hate it when im at home!!!!!!!! im getting freaking bored!!! n my exams r coming. i started studying already.. but im yearning to go out! to town, to some shopping centres or watever... as long as i get my ass out of tis flat! n i dun mean going downstairs to fetch the letters... im realli afraid of my exams... i've calculated. i nid abt 30 marks in my miec final paper to pass my overall... im not aiming for 30 out of 100! im aiming for a pass... so it wun get soooo risky... as for my bstat, im better at tt.. but still, i cannot take it so lightly... arh!!!!! i cant concentrate!!! i cant even tell myself to get to the books! im slacking... may i slack to death~

photos ~

in my prev blog, i was saying im so lazy to blog. but here i m blogging. how ironic. so today was boring.. juz went for 2 hr lect n we could go. but no choice cos its revision lecture n exams r realli near.. gotta work hard already. mi, syahriah n weihan ate in sch.. den we went home together. took bus wif them frm opp sch. in the bus, mi n syahriah were toking abt weihan's hair.. cos his hair sooo long.. den we asked him to rebond. den weihan joked, saying chai fong doesnt like guys wif rebonded hair.. he very 'hua xin' (fickled-minded). awhile syahriah, another while chai fong.. hahaa.. so we told him to perm his hair. n juz nice, there was tis indian guy whose hair was curly at the ends.. den syahriah said maybe weihan perm already look like him.. den we laughed n syahriah couldnt stop laughing... -_-" anyway, went home after tt loh. watched sg idol. sylvester dyed his hair n its not so nice. maia still looks hot!! jerry is sure out!! Here r some pics taken in sch.. im lazy to post 1 by 1 on individual blogs.. so post them all at the same time.. =) latest news!! tt02 has a couple!! look at them... aw.... sooooo sweet! (no offence to the ppl in the photo =P) 1st shot of the gers in tt02. not well done. look at the next one. tis is better. from the left: carol, syahriah, effie, su lian, shu yan n chai fong. i was the photographer. sorry the lighting was bad cos cam lousy la... right... tis 3 guys r always not attending lectures or tutorials. namely hakim, albert n fu ann! they r in sch tt particular day cos we hav an impt presentation.. -_-" yeah! everyone's done wif their presentations! tis is the WHOLE of tt02! cool~ 2nd shot.. to finish up the film... =P

laziee

im so lazy to blog.. bye guys...

tired n tired n more tired ~

stupid jason! talked to him on the phone til 6am n i had to wake up at 9am. but the conversation was realli interesting. alot of crap ar..! woke up super late at arnd 9.40am. took a quick shower n got ready. luckily not late. otherwise muz walk to LT 45 alone. which is soooo far.. =( anyway, today's lect for miec was the last. den mr pon gave us some hints for the final paper. hope i can do well. gotta realli study realli realli hard.. mr pon told us tt the paper will be very difficult. -_-" how encouraging.. halfway thru the lect still muz give jason the PIG 'morning' call. it was 12.30pm! den i called him n he already was awake. right... while walking back to canteen 1 after lect, den jason called mi. cos i asked him to. hohoho.. he's soooooo sweet... den talked all the way til i reached canteen 1. ate jap food. den went to nsa room to do some stuff den mi n syahriah, carol, sulian n joey went for our bstat so-called remedial. cos i failed my bstat test 2. but at least the remedial made mi learn something. after bstat, went to lvl 5 printing room where chai fong n the others were there. chai fong printed our report already. but the stupid bloody printer cocked up! den print not nice... damn... waste our paper leh.. haiz... so juz handed up our not-nice report to mr chee's pigeon hole. after tt, went home at arnd 5+pm. was damn slpy. all becos of jason!! dozed off at home while watching tv. den mum reached home 6.30pm. den i still slping. hahaha pig... den ate dinner, watch tv, n out again. went to church. mum drove sis' car. woah.. so long nv sit her car loh.. den felt so grand.. hohoho... now im talking to jason again. hahaha... c ya...

somebody dun like mi~

ppl r leaving comments on my tagboard n main point is they r using MY name n leaving bad comments. i dun mean those comments muz be good. but y use MY name? im not angry or anything. its their choice. haha i dun even scold the f word. so if u put tt f word in my tagboard, using MY name, my frenz surely know its not mi. anyway, im glad tt im done wif my part on the nsa report. now chai fong is doing the content page, at tis very minute. any time it will be complete. yeah!! so happy... at least i hav 1 less burden to worry about. now i hav to concentrate on my studies. wed got nsa final test already. arh!! ok, im waiting for jason to go home oso. c ya...

im tired... ~

i've missed blogging for a few days. Wednesday, 29 September 2004 attended s&w n lms. damn! tot lms was the last lesson last week. but was informed to go back. so juz went loh. ms anne marie told us alot of ghost stories, which realli freaked mi out. but i insisted to listen to them. most were her personal experiences. den after tt, pam n i went town to eat lucky chicken rice. i love the chicken rice there. den after walking here n there, we went to ps for my organ cls. she sat in wif mi. rather worried she would be bored but she wasnt. my teacher was toking to her most of the time. organ cls = crap time. my teacher, mr lionel goh, n i always tok n tok during lesson. hahaha... after lesson, we went to eat andersen's ice cream at b2. eat liao den went home. reached woodlands mrt, we shopped at causeway point. i bought a ring. wif SHOKO carved on it. bought it n went home. so damn sleepy. tt's the end. cant rmb wat happened at nite. Thursday, 30 September 2004 last day of september. went back to sch at 8am. tt day actually no sch but we had to do nsa. chai fong was rather unhappy wif mi n syahriah. cos we dunno how to do... den we made her so pissed. sorry. we started doing some nsa stuff. chai fong did more. awhile later, syahriah n i slacked. den chai fong was pissed. i know many sorries wun make u feel better. but i can onli say sorry. we shared the room wif tt03 ppl. den mr chee had a cls so we had to keep quiet in order to stay there to do our work. we ended abt 11+. den we ate n went to atrium to see the filming of sch belle n beau. well, zhong qiang was 1 of the top 2 guys. the other guy dunno wat name but i've seen him during BIT interaction day. found him rather cool. but zhong qiang got more votes than him. i caught a glance on both the belles. n i had a disgusted look. i didnt tink they were even qualified. there were much prettier gals in NP other than them! PLS!! mediacorp... i dun tink ur taste is tt bad la.. btw, joey was 1 of them who voted for zhong qiang. hahaha nice 1.. after tt, we went back to nsa. den tis time situation more tense. cos mi n syahriah sat n do nothn. den chai fong was going arnd asking others how to do.. =( i felt so guilty. i wanted to help but i dun even know wat i could do. we went home after a while. Friday, 1st October 2004 time flies realli fast. its october already. the yr is ending. went for nsa lecture at 10am. i did some work the prev nite on the nsa. it helped syahriah abit. ok we went to eat n went for our nsa. mr chee n the other tutor (mdm ang) came in shortly. i felt nauseous. was rather uncomfortable. den 12.15pm arrived. i had to give jason, the PIG, a morning call! or rather, a wake up call in the afternoon!! prev nite was chatting wif him on the phone til 5am! omg!! n i woke up 8.. so i called him n heard his sleepy voice. we waited for our turn to present impatiently n unwillingly. i didnt wan to present. cos i didnt know wat i had to say or do etc.. quite afraid. but chai fong helped to speak up alot alot.. i mean realli alot. the presentation would be screwed if not for her. i was sooo glad it was over.. 1 upsetting matter was tt natasha didnt turn up. she didnt turn up for a single workshop. she didnt help anything. n i called her but she didnt pick up. maybe she's bz wif dave. i bet she missed him super much. was pissed wif her but i let it go. =) after nsa, we were all so glad!! so relaxed. mr chee said we wun fail. tt's comforting. den we sat in canteen n discussed our report. shud be doing my report now but im blogging. after discussion, went to westmall wif weihan to rot. nothn to do so went for awhile. when i reached home, i was bloody sleepy so i told my mum i was going to bed. tt time was 4.40pm. n i slept til 11.45pm!! 7 whole hours. i missed all the tv shows, including sg idol. damn! woke up n i ate. den jason called mi. =) talked for 2+ hrs n turned in. Today, 2 October 2004 woke up at 9am n walked arnd in the house. i tink i was slp walking. my mum called mi when i was walking, i heard her but i walked back to my room n slept. hahaha den i woke up at 12pm, juz nice to watch meteor garden. den watch tv til 2pm. was online since then.. i've got a report to do!!! den was online loh.. smsed here n there. blah blah blah. boring weekend.. tired n sleepy. but i've got a report to work on.. arh!! c ya guys.. btw, i heard tt jeassea was voted out of SG idol.. n her fans r writing petition for her to be back in the show. woah... she's realli good. she shudnt go. beverly n jerry shud go! cant stand their face n worse, their voice!